JUMPER in five painstaking minutes

(64-bit version of this article can be found here) 

I’m David Rice. Whether via genetic aberration, weird voodoo shit or some unexplained reason, I can teleport in a heartbeat. And I use my awesome abilities to rob banks and bang ho’s in the process.

And that’s what makes me your antagonist. I’ve been travelling all over the world to kill people like you who has the ability to jump. Jumpers if you will. Heck, I’m not even paid to do this shit. We just don’t like your kind in my hood. And by "hood" I mean "planet Earth"!

Jump? Jumpers? What are you talking about? TELEPORT is what I can do, damnit! Aren’t we supposed to be called Teleporters?

Shut up, I kill you now.

VRRRMMMTTT!!! (teleports) 

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