Ten Things I should NOT do during Ramadan

So it’s Ramadan. That very special occasion for our Islamic brothers who fast from dawn until sunset for an entire month as an act of self-purification. Since this is my first time to experience such an event (and a hardcore one — much, much hardcore than the Ramadan in Manila), I thought it would be good to take some time out of my busy schedule to think about what I should NOT do during this season if I plan to, you know, keep my head on top of these shoulders.

1. Smoke through my eye socket.

2. Eat soft and juicy meat buns.

3. Look at mirrors. Particularly one-way mirrors that show naked women on the other side.

4. Unconsciously lick my lips to make it moist like I usually do. It always looks as if I’m eating something. Or worse, a flaming homosexual.

5. Shave using a shard of glass.

6. Power slide in the office hallway holding a huge foot long sandwich, and screaming “I FEEL GOOD! YOU KNOW THAT I WOUUULD!” 

7. Eat gummi bears. It’s annoying whenever they get stuck in between my braces.

8. Drink beer, tequila, and vodka tonic. It would be interesting to find out what would replace them as my favorite booze drinks.

9. Search for the word “pork” in Google.

In the photo: Pork. Not pictured: Life

10. Set the image above as my office computer wallpaper.

Who am I kidding? I can’t give these stuff up. Mainly because I lack the capacity to do so. Who wants some delicious porkchop sandwich for lunch? Anyone?