Eeyawh breep boop wikiwiki siffee ee eida sefehh fodah roongg teeee (But I love my local language, Steelio. Our ancestors have been conversing in our native tongue since time immemorial, and we have had no problems at all.) Well then if you think the world only revolves around the four corners of your culture and ethnicity, then you dear sir have no right to be outside a 15-mile radius of your country. It’s not even an issue of norm ferchrissakes! And I’m not asking that you speak the language fluently. Just being able to tell someone that you need to take a pee in words that everyone can have a handle on is more than enough. Come on, work with the rest of the world here!

Before I continue bitching, here’s a very alarming email batch-sent by one of my colleagues about everyone’s favorite energy drink:

Gee, thanks a lot, colleague.

Last weekend was grocery shopping weekend. I approached a strappy young stock boy in hopes that he’ll be able to assist me in finding a packet of chicken breading to bread my chicken with. With a smile, I politely asked him:

Do you have any chicken breading flour?

As agile as any 18-year old chap can be, he quickly scoured the shelves and returned with the following items:

• A 500-gram pack of frozen chicken
• A loaf of white bread
• Flowers

At least he understood me a bit and went with the keywords.