Kilro…Steel was Here!

After a mere two months of stay in the Middle East, it was surprising how excited I was to return to my smog-coated, street rat-infested, and jeepney-ruled hometown: Manila. Don’t get me wrong; I love this city. And I am, and forever will be a city street rat¹.

But the journey back to my fatherland was not very easy. Aside from the long wait and the idle lines at the airline ticket counters and money-changer booths, the security in the Dubai International Airport was intrinsically tight. Specifically to me. I couldn’t blame them. I had a full beard on half my face. They find a Filipino sporting an Arabian look weirder than a Harry Potter book read from right to left.

Harry Potter read backwards 

At the walk-through metal detector I was greeted with a scowl of suspicion and a glare of disgust by a local airport security personnel as soon as I set off the damn thing.

Scowl of suspicion 

Security: Please remove your phone and keychains or any metal objects from your pocket. 

Me: (Removed said things and walked through the metal detector again) *beeps*

Security: Remove your jacket please.

Me: (Took off my jacket and walked right under the machine again) *beeps*

Security: Remove your belt and shoes please.

I removed said articles of clothing and passed through the metal detector once again. At that point the security guy frisked my almost naked body probably in hopes of finding a concealed weapon in my underpants. 

Me: Sir, you don’t suppose I’m carrying a bomb strapped in my torso waiting for the call of Allah to blow the infidels to kingdom come, do you?

Well, I didn’t actually say that lest they hand me my head on a silver platter with all the trimmings. So in conclusion, I missed Manila and all its wimmen. 

1. I admit that some of my references can be a little obscure. In the Disney movie Aladdin, the protagonist, who is an American-accented white piece of cornbread was referred to as a street rat by the ugly, more ethnic-looking villain Jafar.