How to kill yourself slowly but painlessly.
February 20, 2007Step I. Walk (or better yet, run) outside under the warm blistering sun.
Step II. Immediately board a cab that has its airconditioner set to "Blizzard".
step III. Disembark a couple of miles away from your office (or the mall, if that's where you're going).
Step IV. Repeat Step no. I.
Step V. Immediately get inside your cryogenic office cubicle (or the coldest part of the mall).
Notice an intense buildup of mucus between your nose and your throat. A warm, heavy feeling ensues. Expect imminent death to succumb you at any moment.
Or, if you want it quick:
Previous Comments
Um, what about just jumping off the 27th floor of the building? That’s what I almost did after I listened to “Gloomy Sunday” while simultaneously talking to my nth redneck call.
Posted by ade at February 20, 2007, 3:57 pmOh lord have mercy! Such barbaric acts! You boys should start behaving like genuinely refined men.
Posted by Steel at February 20, 2007, 4:24 pmslashing one’s balls is fine. and bloody.
me likes it.
Posted by bender at February 20, 2007, 5:35 pmHi Bender! What part of FAGLAND did you come from?
Posted by ade at February 21, 2007, 5:20 amLolz! Ade has no ideyar who bender is!
Posted by ballsofsteel at February 21, 2007, 5:33 amhow about injecting listerine into your bloodstream?
Posted by liz at February 21, 2007, 8:24 am@ade:
some fagland where love is bendless and bedless.
steel: *hush* *hush*
Posted by bender at February 21, 2007, 10:53 amslashing your wrist won’t kill you.
Seriously.
Trust me, I tried.
Posted by benj at February 21, 2007, 3:12 pmSo I’m not the only one who ends their posts with suicide yay I want to kiss you on the mouth
Posted by Coco at February 28, 2007, 5:52 pmanother interesting way is the guillotine … needs too much infra though
Posted by hash at February 20, 2008, 6:27 pm
What’s quicker is if you put your head under that wheel, after drinking Baygon and slashing your wrists.
Posted by baddie at February 20, 2007, 11:25 am